As many other women do, I’d not discovered Mr. Right and my biological alarm was sounding in the background. I was 40 and knew that if I would like to become a mother the time was now or never. Perhaps in my own selfishness I wanted to have to have my to have my own child. As a special education teacher I taught a lot of emotional disturbed children that were adopted. If I had a child of my own I’d at least have a good idea of the genetic heritage. The remaining half of the genes had to be male, evidently, and I chose to go with an anonymous donor of sperm. Section 18A Donations
He would at least have been tested for STDs and other genetic diseases. It was more secure than experiencing the “accident” with someone I didn’t know. I was unsure whether I was doing right thing with the child without a father. So I put the decision to God. I came up with a plan: I would try three times and if God wanted it to occur the way I wanted it to, it would. I didn’t realize that at the time, how difficult it is for a 40-year old woman to get pregnant. My odds were 5percent per month.
I did my research and came across an sperm bank in California which enticed me. It’s still the sole non-profit sperm banks in the US and also limited the offspring of donors only to 10 families. This I felt was extremely responsible. They were also the only organization that could offer “Yes” donors-meaning that the donor would be willing to be identified once the child was 18. I believed it was crucial that my child was capable of knowing the other part of his/her identity. My mom was my cheerleader in my life as well as I sifted through their catalogue and selected five “Yes” donors and one alternative “No” donor. The additional “Yes” donors were either tall or small, and because my body is prone to becoming being chubbier, I wanted to give my child the possibility of inheriting a healthier body!
As I was turning forty, my physician believed it was essential to check my fertility. He advised me to take Clomid for an “challenge,” to see whether my old ovaries performed to the test. The possibility of being a twin was increased due to stimulating my ovaries to produce multiple eggs. I chose to take the chance. I contacted the bank to request sperm only to find that the five “Yes” donors were out-of-stock. I was hesitant to let it go so quickly once I was ready and primed to order, I decided to purchase one of the “No” donor’s sperm. He was six foot tall and slim and blonde with blue eyes and held a master’s degree. The woman who worked working at the facility told me the man had been “very popular.” Two vials are typically required for insemination on the same day, however there was only one. I paid the cost for the sperm as well as delivery via dry ice with FedEx I was thinking that it won’t work at all. I’d hope to find an “Yes” donor next month.
My doctor also requested additional tests that would have required me to pay funds I was unable to afford. I told him that I’d never had a failure to be pregnant, and so I wanted to go through as little intervention from a medical standpoint as feasible. I took advantage of an over-the-counter Ovulation predictor and visited the doctor’s clinic early on Monday morning to schedule the intrauterine insemination. The nurse helped me determine the sperm vial by the donor’s name, after which I was instructed to take the sperm to another facility to be cleaned and ready to undergo the procedure. As I walked through the hallway holding a sperm vial in my palm I laughed. It was an odd idea but it was an excellent cause! A few days later I was back in the office of the doctor, and was advised to lie down on a table. Then, the doctor put the embryo into my uterus using the aid of the tube. It was not painful at all. The doctor then raised my hips, and told me to lay still for fifteen minutes. I was thinking about my dreams for my future baby. If God had trusted me to have the responsibility of a child I would be determined to do my best for the child to ensure that he or she received the most love a child could ever want.
A few days later my normal 26-day cycle hadn’t produced an actual period. I did a couple of pregnancy tests, and each was positive. Not deterred I visited the doctor’s clinic early on 29th of the day. At the end of the day I received a call that I was “Very pregnant.” It seemed unbelievable to get pregnant the first time using just one insemination. The baby was intended for me! It was like I was imagining that this child was “waiting in the wings” for years It was finally time to put the show going!
My mother was delighted and the other members of the family needed an hour or two to get used to. Everyone was convinced that I’d never have an infant that was my own, and I didn’t discuss the plans I had with them. Then, eventually they were all enthusiastic about the new member to the clan.
My pregnancy was normal until the 16th week of my pregnancy in which my blood pressure started to increase. I had symptoms of preeclampsia. It is an illness in which the mother’s blood pressure increases to dangerous levels , and the kidneys begin to leak proteins to the blood. My grandmother and mother also suffered from the same problem, but they were younger than me when their kids were born. One patient told me, “She’s peeing a steak a day!” There was a fear that I might suffer seizures that could cause my death, as well as my baby’s death.
My group of family and friends were at the hospital and I was treated to the option of a c-section. My baby boy was screaming when he emerged, weighing 4 pounds. 5 ounces and measuring 15 inches long. He was so beautiful and was just a little smaller than normal. Doctors awarded Tyler the “Cute Baby Award.” After three weeks of intensive care suffering Respiratory Distress Syndrome as well as an open heart valve My daughter Tyler was able to return home. We began life together.
Tyler was a great child, although he was reluctant to fall asleep. He appeared to wish to be missing any of his activities. I observed that he found some things unpalatable such as the noise of the bathroom fan or at the mall, particular food items or scents. As he grewolder, the peculiarities increased to include sock wrinkles shoelaces, shirt tags and a myriad of other things that needed to be perfect before he could be helped. When he began daycare, he was having trouble making friends with his classmates. Everybody had to be done in a certain way or else he’d have an argument. He did not realize the fact that other children have their own views and thoughts. In his home, he was friendly and displayed an compassion. In the presence of others, he was indifferent. We would go through an entire daycare each six-month period.
At the school, Tyler continued to have temper tantrums whenever things didn’t work out as planned, which led to him being taken to the principal’s office several times. He was also suspended for poor behaviour. My school and I crafted the behavior plan that appeared to work as I went with Tyler to various specialists and doctors, hoping to figure out the reason Tyler was acting out. I began to feel tired and angry in my inability to find a solution to what was bothering him. At the age of five, his physician began talking about Asperger’s syndrome, which is an underlying neurological disorder in the spectrum of autism. Many refer to it as “high functioning autism” because it doesn’t have any issues in intellectual or language abilities. Children who have Asperger’s are an average or above average level of intelligence. They often score extremely well in their speech skills, but they are lacking an awareness of social interactions and capacity to recognize that other people have different feelings to their own. They can appear awkward when they are when they are in public, and thus take being the victim of bullying at schools. They may be suffering from numerous other issues including ADHD, OCD, generalized anxiety disorder and developmental motor delays and processing problems. We have tried a variety of medications, choosing those that address the anxiety and attention. He began seeing social-skills therapists and speech therapy, as well as occupational therapy, and physical therapy, in addition to taking part in karate, gymnastics and soccer, attempting to feel comfortable with himself. He was constantly bullied in the school and had to be transferred prior to 8th grade. Gradually, Tyler found it easy to find friends and socialize. At the time of High school, Tyler already had many friends. He was extremely well-known. He was still struggling with anxiety and attention, but these were managed. I let out a massive relief!